still very much missed,still a question mark

alhamdulillah,he was dikebumikan dgn selamat ystd..ain,huda n i went agn ystd to see him for the last time.we reached at ard 9+..the mayat was only brought home at 11+ n reached at ard 12+..

while waiting,we were reminiscing the days we spent together..n laughed at all the silly things we did at the sentosa camp..by the time when the mayat reached home,i cldnt help but cried at the sight of his clothes..his sis was badly affected n cldnt face the clothes,wat more the body..

then they mandikan the mayat n kapan n all..his father let family members n close relatives to see him for the last time..then his father instructed ppl to bring him out to let the other ppl to see him for the last..i got to see him for the last time..it was sad..really..aunts,grandaunts n all cldnt help but cry..n they kissed him..then later he was brought to the void deck to let his other friends to see him for the last time n that include his platoon mates from the police force..there was a big grp..n i saw some of his chinese friends,shld be either from poly or hua yi sec..

we went to see him agn for the last time n left when they were praying for him..n after that,they shld be bringing him to the kubur..not sure tho whr he is buried..but alhamdulillah all went smoothly..alhamdulillah i was given the chance to see him for the last time..

it suddenly came across my mind that i wasnt in hk..if not,i wldnt get to see him..i was telling aisha n tiq i was lucky enough that my hols was cancelled,maybe because there is a hikmah behind it n maybe it was this..imagine if only i found out abt it now,i wldnt juz cry but dumbfounded,wailing..haizz..i cant imagine that..but ya that wasnt happening..

u know,during that period when he was dimandikan,his father was saying how much malik missed his mother soo much,just soo much,n now,he's gone n able to meet his mother..his father was indeed very strong or maybe he wasnt showing it..at the sight of his father,he reminded me of malik..really..n i saw his soccer ball at his house in the balcony,agn,i was reminded of him..

when i reached home,my bro in law asked me wat happened..while telling him the story,i cldnt help but tears just flow..my bro in law said that maybe,he was speedng,n skidded,hit the head,n nothing cld be done to be saved unless at that pt of time,thr was some passerby..or if thr was a pillion..ohwells..ini sume kehendak Allah,only the Almighty knows y this is happening i/o the other..

i wld like to thx ppl who asked abt me n whther im coping well with it..thx ppl for the concern..u know hw much memories i hv with him..tho it was little n a short n brief one..

him gg away is still a qn mark..coz all of us are really curious whr was he really gg that day n wat actually happened..been thnking abt it..n seemed like things that ive been doin,somehow,will be reminded of him..when im juz dazing or spacing out,i will rmb those days when i secretly looked at him n even bumped into him unexpectedly..from ard the sch compound,esp canteen3 to bbdc,him sitting just beside me in the bus but we nvr talk coz only i knew him at that time..how i will fluster at the sight of him n then got so distracted from nt doing the proj..those days..

all i can say is that he will have a special place in my heart,in my memory,in my life..n i prayed that his family will be save n coming into terms with it..n semoga his roh dicucuri rahmat..Amin..

that aside,life has to go on..im gg to be busy with my cca if i ever get selected for the special project team..nx wed is the interview,wish me luck aite?=)

this song,reminded me of him..dewi by dewa 19..

Dewi aku mohon
Beri kesempatan
Tuk bisa menebus dosaku kepadamu
Maafkanlah aku yang menyakitimu
Aku tidak pernah menyangka bisa begini
Oh Dewi..Dengarkanlah

Dewi..Kaulah hidupku
Aku cinta padamu sanpai mati
Dewi..Belah lah dadaku
Agar kau tahu
Agar kau mengerti
Ooo..Ooo..

Semua terjadi begitu saja
Tak ada serius antara dia dan aku
Tidak cinta dan tak ada hati
Hanya karena aku lelaki dan dia wanita
Oh Dewi
Dengarkanlah

Dewi..Kaulah hidupku
Aku cinta padamu sanpai mati
Dewi..Belah lah dadaku
Agar kau tahu
Agar kau mengerti